My Life on the CM List

Better Lesson, Better Teacher :)

2010-05-17T16:46:00.000-04:00

Earlier in the year I logged onto Betterlesson.org, a teaching focused information sharing platform where educators can upload and download resources. I began uploading my lesson and unit plans and skimming through other people's plans for knowledge capture, creative planning ideas, and overall understanding about what people across the country do.

Having experienced building a curriculum with little to no resources besides an outdated, superficial, and dangerously simplified historical "textbook", I know how difficult, yet important it is to see what else is out there to help. I have found some sites like edhelper.com very helpful, but it is not free, and does not provide lessons.

Anyhow, I've traded emails with the outreach developers from betterlesson to share feedback and long story short I was profiled as a featured teacher! woo! Here's the post from their website.

Enjoy!

My Own Journey

2010-05-06T21:22:00.000-04:00

I keep pushing my scholars to grow and develop. Pushing and pushing. But I feel like the one being pushed. Slowly I creep to a breaking point, wondering where I am going to end? I imagine leading my body up a mountain so steep the peak seems beyond reach, searching for a plateau of success or comfort, and when at that glorious moment of growth, and the safe landing is at reach, there is another hill; this time higher, steeper, more convoluted with the sharp spikes of vocabulary gaps, poverty, disruptive behaviors, unit plans, low investment, high expectations, classroom culture, pressure, testing, schedules, no excuses attitudes and my lack of experience laughing at me as I barely cling onto this momentary safe haven. At the moment when I feel like I am just strengthening my grip, I pause, and reflect, and am focused not on the journey I have taken; the many hills I have overcame, the many successes I have facilitated for my students in the face of impossibility. No. My mind is clouded with doubt. Not the doubt that flashes in a moment and disappears like a feather floating through tidal waves. This is a persistent doubt, a plaguing doubt with no known remedy but time available. Can I do this? How well? Well enough? For how long? Does it end? No, I am not looking back with pride or happiness. I am stuck viewing the past year through the dark lens in a rear-view mirror of hindsight. I am focused on this daunting task ahead, hoping I can find yet another quick respite of hope, a ledge or safe landing for me to rest and pause and find hope in the words of a quote, or the smile of a student or the support of my remarkable family and friends. When will that hope arrive? How long will it last? How do I find a balance when success rests on the hinges of uncertainty? Only time will tell and so I look up, and out, and search for a rush of energy that vaults me to my next peak; and in that moment I will stop, think, and search again for a calm place of peace and remember that tomorrow is a whole new day.

Eternal Hopes of Spring

2010-04-07T21:32:00.001-04:00

I promised a post a few weeks ago, and apologies for not writing sooner. I started this blog as a personal journey, hoping to use writing as a release for the emotions and thoughts of my life as a teacher. I've found, that while I enjoy writing, it too closely resembles the planning and data work I do on the computer for teaching and thus does not grant me that freedom from labor I so desperately need. I have invested time in new hobbies and activities to hopefully provide the mental and physical release from stress that every person, especially those in high pressure jobs require. I am however, fully committed to continuing this blog to not only share with others my journey, but to also have a written record of my experiences.

With that being said, spring has brought forth a renewed sense of hope, possibly and opportunity with the warm weather and longer days. In the depths of winter it felt like I was constantly climbing a mountain, extending strenuous efforts, only to find another hurdle, this one higher and steeper, upon my ascension to the next steps. Scholars were struggling, lessons were boring, retention was falling, my energy was lagging and there were severe signs that not enough was being done, or at least not done well enough.

In March, I was settling into my new role as math teacher. Shocking, I know. These people let me teach math? Well, lucky for me its 3rd grade standards. I've got an okay grasp of my multiplication tables. After our previous data day, we saw that there were natural groups of mastery forming across our heterogeneous classes. (I fully support heterogeneous grouping over homogeneous grouping for various reasons, not limited to social development and tracking). Alas, we rearranged the schedule so that math would end the day and I would be available to teach a section after completing my 4th grade social studies responsibilities.

I was to teach the "high" group, scholars who had scored 85% or higher on all 3 previous IAs. As the grade wide Social Studies teacher I was already familiar with each kid, but throwing the highest 22 math students in one room presents its challenges from engagement, pushing understanding and controlling egos. The goal was to push each scholar toward 100%. They had minor gaps in understanding, if any at all, and simply needed to use this 4 week cycle to strengthen skills, eliminate silly mistakes, and reach for deeper meanings within the content.

My first attempt was to engage the class with an Olympic competition to each day. For instance there were basic ”bronze" level questions, typical "silver" medal problems and "gold" challenge level problems. The idea went well but trying to manage the class, with everyone at their desks was not easy at 3:15 in the afternoon after a 7:15 a.m. start to the day. After a few tweaks and changes (mainly doing a mini-lesson on the rug and only independent work at the desks) I was able to get my math feet settled.

I took a purposefully hard line, demanding perfection with each problem. Graphs had to be superbly neat, answers had to be in complete sentences, work had to be shown on every problem. The attitude shift and attention to detail was probably the biggest and most impactful change for the students; they were used to settling in as the kids who "got it" early in a lesson and spend lots of time on independent work while the teacher moved to others who were struggling. Not in this class. It was rigorous all the time. Perfection demanded with nothing short of 100% acceptable.

These kids had no idea what hit them. Like I said earlier, there was no shortage of ego in the room, but being called out for silly mistakes here and 1 point off there shook them to what their "best" work really is. The results, speak for themselves. On IA #3 two out of the 22 scholars scored a 100%. After 4 weeks in our group, 13 out of 22 scholars scored 100% on IA #4. Additionally, 21 out of 22 scholars scored 90% or above.

The scores were put up late on Thursday night and as I stalked our server for the results I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to cry. This was the first time I felt the difference was because of my teaching. Sure I've seen gains in social studies and reading, but there was something different this time. Maybe it was my lack of confidence at the start of the IA cycle, or my unfamiliarity with math, or the seemingly unending stress of the winter months, but I felt this one, deep, and it reassured my purpose in teaching.

With math to worry about in the afternoon I remained busy each morning teaching reading comprehension and guided reading. My scholars have not moved tremendously across the reading continuum, all are however on pace to end the year at or above grade level. My hope however is that all will finish the year above grade level. It is within reach if my instruction engages them, invests them in readings, and focuses their efforts on a few targeted skills. I feel fortunate to have 2.5 months of instruction after state tests to truly push their learning as "readers" and get them prepared for 4th grade.

Social Studies! How could I forget. I was quite productive during February break and the first week back to plan most of my lessons and assessments, which thankfully lightened the work load, especially given the added task of teaching math. In 4th grade we spent 5 weeks learning about the U.S. Constitution. Want to try your hand some of the test questions?

______1.     Which part of the US constitution explains why it was written?
a)    Part 1
b)    Article 1
c)    Introduction
d)    Preamble
_____ 2.   Which is NOT a goal of the US Constitution?
a)    Form a strong nation
b)    Protect people’s freedom
c)    Declare independence
d)    Improve people’s lives

Match the branch of the national government with the job performed.

3.    Makes the laws                           ______a. Judicial Branch

4.    Enforces (carries out) the laws                  ______b. Executive Branch

5.    Interprets (clarifies)                       ______c. Legislative Branch

Why was the Bill of Rights added to the US Constitution?
a)    To take away people’s rights
b)    To guarantee people’s rights
c)    To think about people’s rights
d)    To complain about people’s rights

Answers

1)d

2)c
3)c
4)b
5)a
6)b

How did you do?

The 4th grade averaged 90% on the 15 question test. Wooooooooooooo!

One of the coolest parts of the unit was having each class create a Constitution for the school, specifically the rights and responsibilities of teachers, families and students. After, we proposed and voted on amendments and finally voted for ratification. Each class came up with different components and it was a fun experience to work through. Here is an example of one of the Constitutions:

AFBES Constitution
UC-Berkeley

Preamble: At AFBES, we will work hard so that all scholars learn, graduate college, and become leaders.

Article III: At AFBES, scholars have the right to learn, ask questions and have the freedom to have fun while learning. Scholars are guaranteed time to play, eat meals, use the restroom and go home if sick. Scholars have the right to a great education without cruel punishment or little freedom to speak. Scholars are responsible to complete all work, follow instructions and show the REACH values. Scholars must respect teachers, work hard and display good behavior. When necessary, scholars must get parent signatures.

They came up with all that! Great Job UC-Berkeley scholars!

In 3rd grade, our unit was on Inventions and how they are important in communities. The culmination of the unit was the first ever Invention Fair! Scholars had to think of a problem they wanted to solve, brainstorm solutions, plan 1 possible solution and make the invention. There were definitely moments when I wanted to pull my hair out trying to get them toward the end goal, and was thrilled when we reached the end of the unit. Mainly because scholars presented their inventions on the Friday before spring break. I had a few goals in mind, mainly to have a project assessment, a student centered application of content and a chance to present something that required hard work and thoughtfulness. It was a great event and I am so proud of my scholars! Check out some pics:

Emma's Closet Organizer

Kelleil's Shoe-Lace Buckle

Tyler's Turtle Washer and Mya's Dog-Bite Protector

Teraya's Hearing Helper

So Impressive! So Proud!

Before I end this dreadfully long post, I will just share that I am extremely excited and optimistic for the rest of the year. There are 12 instructional days until the ELA (English/Language Arts) NY State Exam and 19 instructional days until the Math State Exam. I am ready for my scholars to rock it out! They are all capable of passing and most I hope will far exceed the bar. While the next few weeks will surely be stressful, I know they will be rewarding when we see just how much they have learned. Additionally, we get the chance to really push them to more diverse topics and lessons after the exams, which I am truly looking forward to. It doesn't hurt that the weather is warm, the days are longer and the baseball season has started as well.

So in the end, here are a couple quotes to keep you and me motivated during the next few weeks.

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe." -Anatole France

"It always seems impossible until it is done." - Nelson Mandela

Almost There

2010-03-25T20:34:00.000-04:00

One more day until Spring Break. Great news on latest math IA. Things on the up and up? We shall see.

More to come in a few days...

Don't Stop Achieving

2010-03-13T10:46:00.003-05:00

Twice every year, the Achievement First Network gathers together for a professional development day for all teachers, school leaders and staff. It is an amazing opportunity to share the immense knowledge, resources and skills among the over 500 educators within the network. The sessions I have attended always provide new insights into teaching, useful best practices, and multiple ways to increase my effectiveness and thus, student achievement.

While it is a busy day full of learning, it is also a chance for our Team and Family to get together, share some laughs and see familiar faces. Having friends at all of the AF-NY region schools, all of whom I have traveled this journey from the first day of TFA institute, its a great experience.

Lastly, its a great chance for each of the schools to show some personality and perform a cheer or song for the crowd. At our fall PD day in Connecticut, those schools performed. Now I love my Team and Family, but they didn't bring it. It was Brooklyn's turn and the smack talking had begun weeks for PD Day. Word traveled that AF-Brownsville was practicing every day after school for two weeks!

For a little back story, AF-Bushwick Elementary was not known for any spectacular performances, unless planning the day of, doing a 4 second cheer and running back to your seats is considered spectacular. Well, upon hearing this news, my first year compadres and I knew we had to change the course. During the course of a few Saturdays stuck in grad school and some time over winter break, I took a brilliant idea from Marissa and re-wrote the words to Don't Stop Believing. After a few practice sessions with serious help from our Music Teacher, Colin, the fantastic results are below. (Note that we only practiced twice, what now Brownsville!). We got amazing feedback, but most importantly, it was a blast! Enjoy!

Whatever I Can

2010-03-06T17:24:00.015-05:00

Three months since I've written. Ridiculous! I wish I would have taken more time to sit, reflect and write, if only to remember more about my first year teaching. However, as with most things in my life, my job comes first and I have little time or energy for other endeavors. (Although I am getting better at work-life balance!)

Let me just go back in time. Returning from winter break I was relaxed, refreshed and ready to go! Luckily, so were my scholars. During the 4 weeks of January and first 2 weeks of February we rocked it out. Looking back, it was a challenging, but highly productive 6 week cycle of effective teaching and learning. I'm not sure if there was a single factor that was supremely different from the first months of the year, but I know both the planning and execution of my lessons dramatically improved, as did the extent to which my co-teacher and I were purposeful and thoughtful with every decision. Our scholars were also adjusted to the rigor of 3rd grade, our teaching styles and felt comfortable within the classroom community.

Thank god, because this was make or break time. Our class, given its unique student population relative to the others in the grade, had to make significant gains. For whatever reason, our scholars were not meeting our expectations, or matching the results of their peers on our Interim Assessments. Things were not miserable, but scholars who should have scored in the 80s, were scoring in the 70s; scholars who should have scored in the 90s, were scoring in the 80s, etc. Additionally many scholars were failing or drastically performing at low levels. It was frustrating, because at times we felt as if we were doing all we could. Why didn't they just learn it already? Why were they making the same mistakes? What were we doing wrong?

I would not go as far as to say our jobs depended on it, but this was the time to produce, to show that our scholars were making the strides that would put them in place to master all necessary concepts and skills by spring-time state exams and end of year big goals. There was pressure to perform, but mostly from myself. It is hard to go from a high-performing, do the work and get the grade type of lifestyle to one where the outcome doesn't always match the input; where you can do everything right and still come up short. I always felt that I was doing a "good" job, but I knew it wasn't enough. My kids needed more.

"graduating" off the clip behavior system

Just thinking and comparing my teaching (and scholars) now to the beginning of the year is tremendously uplifting. Some already know how I struggled initially to build a social studies curriculum that was relevant, rigorous and applicable to the lives of my scholars. I shared with close friends and family the anecdotal realities that plagued my feelings of ineptitude and doubt. For instance many of my fourth graders at the beginning of the year struggled to identify locations on a map or explain what country they lived in. Strikingly, one of my scholars stated “I thought the United States and the United States of America were two different places.” Today however, I am happy to share that their knowledge of geography and US history has grown tremendously. Throughout the year we have analyzed the justification of colonization, debated the merits of the Declaration of Independence, and have begun exploring the US Constitution. On our latest unit assessment, the 4^th grade averaged 85%, up 21% from the first test of the year.

In 3^rd grade, our work regarding communities has developed from simple questions like“what is a community?” to more complex understandings about how climate, culture, and technology affect communities. On the most recent unit assessment, the 3^rd grade averaged 84%, up 26% from the first test of the year. Soon each scholar will brainstorm, develop, create and present an invention aimed at solving a problem.

Enjoying a cupcake at our publishing party

Back home in The University of Delaware, my co-teacher and I have seen tremendous growth in reading, and math. During the last Interim Assessment cycle, our class had the greatest growth of any 3^rd grade class across the Achievement First-New York region. In reading, the class average improved 11% from the beginning of the year with 16 of 22 scholars showing proficiency of 3^rd grade standards mid-way through the year. In math, the class averaged jumped to an 80% with 18 of 22 scholars demonstrating proficiency of standards. We are on target toward achieving our big goals of 100% of scholars passing the state reading and math assessments in May.

Reading realistic fiction stories at our publishing party

Thankfully, my charter network and school are so focused on thoughtful reflections that diagnose student need and highlight areas of growth. Within the hectic tornado of each day, it is so very challenging to think of how far you (and your class) have come. With the burden of poverty, violence, and low-expectations burrowing down on the backs of my scholars, like the bookbags that droop to the knees of kindergartners each day, the challenges are immense. But it is in those short moments of reflection when I think to the scholar who has already grown a full year in reading; the scholar who despite learning disabilities gets the highest math score on a practice state assessment; the scholar who no longer throws tantrums but calmly teaches his peers how to problem solve; the fun-loving but unmotivated scholar who now scores over 85% in all subjects.

After IA cycle 3 (Jan-Feb), February break descended upon school teachers like a gift from the gods. After working ourselves so hard, with so much stress manifesting itself in exhaustion, and not the healthiest eating habits, the week off was a necessity both physically and mentally. I used my time to take a glorious vacation to the Bahamas. Luckily, my TFA & AF partner in crime/work-wife came along for a fun filled 5 days of buffet food, Caribbean drinks and lots of rest. After our days in the sun and with less cash thanks to the casino at the Atlantis resort, I returned home to NYC, spent a few days around town, then hunkered down to plan for the next 6 weeks of school.

Beautiful Bahamian sunset and silliness outside the hotel

I’ve come to terms with the fact that this job, this life, which I am devoted to, requires a lifestyle that is not the average for a 22 year old college graduate. I’ve honestly done my best to develop a work-life balance, as I am aware of my tendency to throw myself so deep into the waters of what I am working on, I’m never able to swim to shore, see the light, and have a full or at least diverse life experience. I have accepted that I must work on weekends and every Monday night. Simultaneously, I have built a schedule where I stay at school until I am forced out at 6 pm, but never take work home Tuesday-Thursday. It may seem small, but just the notion of going home and everything being over is a huge relief. I’ve had the opportunity to go to dinner with friends, see a few Broadway shows (thanks, Sam!) and simply enjoy the mundane things in life like reading a book or watching trashy reality TV.

The return from February break was both a harsh wake-up call for me, and my students. First, any alarm clock going off at 5 am should be thrown out of a window. So needless to say it was a rough transition. My kids to the same extent seemed to struggle back into the routines of our classroom. I know this is a common issue across all classrooms nonetheless it can be annoying. Additionally, our scholars, who did so well on the last IAs, seemed to forget everything!

Scholars from K - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

To make life just that much more fantastic, our most difficult scholar behavior-wise, who had shown some growth in no longer being violent or outright rude in his defiance, took huge steps backwards upon the death of a family member and his mother marrying within the same month. When I say steps backwards, I literally mean he started the year with 1 foot already out the door. He barely was allowed to remain in the school after seemingly everything was tried in his first 3 years. With focus, intense behavior tracking systems, and the patience of Mother Teresa, we worked with him to become part of the classroom community, complete assignments, control his anger, and reduce his reliance on physical force to deal with that anger. We even presented to the school what we had done with him as a success story for dealing with difficult scholars. And now, after two weeks of pushing, kicking, cursing, talking back, walking away, breaking of materials, and ripping of paper he seems to back at square one, with one foot out the door. I will not give up on him, but each day, I have promise myself not to let him get the best of me. I have to promise myself to remember the growth, remember what he can do, rather than what he is doing.

ay, the cutest K Scholar!

Even as I have learned so much and grown so much as a teacher, there are significant areas where I need to improve. Late in January, I had my Professional Growth Plan (PGP) meeting with my coach and principal. It was a great chance to evaluate myself, have my coach evaluate my teaching, and plan together next steps for the future. I feel wonderfully supported in my coaching relationship but it can always be awkward to get feedback, particularly in this extremely formal way. However, I was glad with the overall experience and left knowing that I have been making a positive impact within the school and am part of the plans for the future.

Amazingly, it is already time to start planning for next year. Of course I am returning, but in what capacity remains uncertain. There are many possibilities including teaching 1^st through 4^th social studies, full-time 3^rd or 4^th grade, CTT, co-teaching, etc. I am really hesitant to make a change, as I finally feel comfortable in my role. I’ve spent so much time and energy in building the 3^rd and 4^th grade social studies curricula that it is hard for me to give them up or just hand them over, but I have enjoyed so thoroughly spending time in my home classroom teaching all subjects.

In the coming weeks, I have a decision to make that balances what I want, what I am best able to do, and what my school needs. Lots will depend on the overall changes within the school and grade-team, but I am looking forward to completing my first year in the trenches, doing whatever I can to close the achievement gap.

Elementary School Dating Rules

2009-12-28T23:17:00.012-05:00

One of the greatest aspects of my job as an elementary school teacher is that kids are out of control. You can never predict what they are going to say and what they are going to do. At times I am struck with unrelenting laughter (both with and at) my students. Similarly, there have been moments where I pause, reflect and have deep emotional battles in trying to understand and adjust my teaching to a particular child's needs.

Take for example the note below. It was a Friday morning, maybe 7:05. most of the kids were eating breakfast, I walk into the copy room and am handed this note from one of my 3rd grade students to a 4th grade girl.

Yes, he just asked her for "sex or dinner". I don't know if I was more appalled that a 7 year old asked for sex or that he didn't realize that you buy dinner, THEN ask for sex. Sex or dinner? I've never even heard that before! and what are you thinking asking who she likes then giving her 3 choices? What type of relationship is he looking for exactly?

While hilarious, it was simultaneously very serious. Start with the inappropriate nature of the letter, to the impact on the girl, to the conversation with parents, to the question of if they know what they are writing about...the list goes on. And it wasn't 8 am yet. And I just wanted to make it to the weekend, but no, I had to deal with the age old question: Sex or Dinner?

Those moments may make for a great story but they can truly test your inner strength as a teacher, dealing not only with the academic responsibility of teaching content and skills, but of molding these small children into real people, capable of appropriate interpersonal interaction and social responsibility.

Then you get the letter or card that reminds you why you wake up so early and push yourself through so much strife.

It's hard to articulate into sentences what this means to a first year teacher, but simply in a few words perhaps I would say: validation, joy, pride, success, worth, thanks, impact

This letter means everything to me, forget the silliness and troubles from before; this is why teaching matters, and why I am a teacher.

True Compass

2009-12-19T19:30:00.013-05:00

Sitting in bed, in my cozy (read: small) NYC apartment, reading Ted Kennedy's memoir watching a blizzard coat the quieting streets with snow is a strangely calm state for me. Tomorrow will mark exactly six months since my first day with Teach for America, my first day as a corps member, my first day on this lifelong journey of working for educational equity.

In the six months that have passed, albeit with frightening pace, my life has been filled with unexpected emotions, heartbreaking pains, and joyful celebrations.

To start, the unexpected emotions. I feel as though I have written at length regarding the roller-coaster that a first year teacher rides. From the planning of lessons to parent conversations to wild classroom behavior, this first half-year as a teacher has allowed me to truly explore who I am.

Everyday is a battle, testing my ability to find within myself the strength, wisdom, and creativity to challenge what is expected. The expectation that what we are trying to do cannot be done. The expectation that as a first year teacher I will not succeed. The expectation that this is just too much, too hard, too stressful for me to see the value. And that is just what I have said to myself. Forget the pressure from my school, Teach for America or the families of my kids to have our scholars achieve academically and develop personally.

My own thoughts are what test my fortitude. These self-defeating thoughts don't creep into the mind of first year teachers. They strike overtly and often. They arrive when we awake before the rising of the sun, continue through our oft-difficult lessons, jolt us during unexpected moments of productivity and plague us during the short time frame we allow ourselves to decompress and rest up for another day in the classroom.

I have had moments where I feel on top of the world, being cheered for my growth and successes as a teacher. I have had moments where I feel incapable of worth, driven down by doubts of what and why and how am I living this life. Because it is a life. The job does not end when you leave school, on the weekends or even in moments of complete irrelevance. I am a teacher. I am responsible for my children. my children. my children.

It is often said that your student's successes are theirs and their failures are yours. I have felt the pain of their failures and the pain of their lives more than I care to share. There is no need for a diatribe of sociological realities of life in poor, often black and brown urban communities. Statistics on poverty and unemployment do nothing to help me sleep when the reality is that my children's pain is my pain. Their struggles are my struggles. Their hopes and dreams are mine too. But with the weight of their lives bearing down on my back I know that i have set my compass true: I have found a life that is challenging, painful and at times emotionally crippling, but I remain looking forward, walking with the needle of my compass pushing steadfast to the north, beating away the shakes and shimmers and rattles to this movement I am a part of.

This experience however has not been without its laughs, its pleasures and its rewards. First and foremost I am eternally thankful for the human capital: the people. The people who understand what I am feeling without uttering a word; where the look on their face, the bags under their eyes, the frustrations in their heart signal to me so clearly and effortlessly: "I understand." Our work is tiring and often thankless, and yet the bonds I have built with these amazingly bright, resourceful, inspiring and strong people build my resolve to go on, to fight another day, to see that what I am doing is bigger than me, and even bigger than us.

and yes, the children. My children. Their genuine love is something so remarkable and unique that it is truly what wakes me up from my 6 a.m. pre-caffeine doldrums. I live for the bright "gooooooooood morning, Mr. Newman" and hug from Kymani, the wisdom (beyond her years) from Tiana, the tireless work of Asia, the severe spastic nature of Everson, the whimsical nature of Deavion, the honesty of Daniel, the silliness of Khalil, the inattentiveness yet sweetness of Mya and the imaginative spirit of Tyler. They show up each day determined to be better. In the face of learning and developmental disabilities, missing parents, health struggles, and crime infested communities they are my motivation, my passion, my life. Even when I walk out the door at 6pm they are with me, guiding my path as a teacher, leader, and person. They set my compass true.

Giving Thanks

2009-11-26T10:06:00.014-05:00

Wow! I made it to thanksgiving. I made it to thanksgiving. I made it to thanksgiving.

Maybe repeating it over and over again will solidify reality in my mind, a reality that at times seemed so far away, so unimaginable as a struggling first year teacher. It has been over 5 months since I started this journey on June 20th, 2009 at TFA - NY institute. While many complained, and surely I did, those 5 weeks of long days, longer nights and little sleep did prepare me for life as a first year teacher. It has been a non-stop, circuitous, and challenging path to today since the closing of institute: grad school, my first days of new staff training with Achievement First, the first day of school, planning and executing my first units, making and giving my first assessments, looking at data and realizing I MUST do better, trying to balance a tiny bit of social life in to the hectic schedule of a work-obsessed, chronically tired recent college graduate.

So much happens on a daily basis that drains your emotions, your spirits, your physical and mental fortitude; but, I have found the resolve to continue exists in those short, but ever so bright moments that remind you why you live this life in relentless pursuit of student achievement. I have realized, that although this job requires immense personal strength, my successes are possible because of the relationships I have with others. To that end, they are who I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my parents, the ultimate teachers, who guided me through childhood, teenage brattiness, and now adulthood with purposeful parenting and most of all friendship.

I am thankful for my friends, from both college and high school, who keep me grounded, reminding me to stay true to myself, make time for the things I love, and thank god I am not unemployed :)

I am thankful for my Teach for America and Achievement First friends and colleagues. Those who I share so much time with on a daily basis, who comprehend my joys and pains with an understanding only possible through our shared experience.

To the Team and Family at school, you truly are my family. I spend more time with you than anyone else, and am routinely inspired to continue working, continue pushing myself and my scholars, knowing that our work has more meaning than we can even comprehend; that our work will lead to dramatic increases in opportunities for our students, that we are making a difference with each and every moment in the classroom.

I am so eternally grateful for the guidance from veteran teachers and the friendship of my fellow first year teachers. I will never forget the shared tears and laughter with my AF family and am so thankful to have spent time in this amazing community.

Included in that group, I must acknowledge the unparalleled work of my Dean/coach, a remarkable educator in her own right, but the greatest advocate and teacher for me in my development as an instructional leader. Our weekly (more like daily) meetings provide me an opportunity to reflect, learn, grow, and become a better teacher making what seemed impossible yesterday, a realistic truth tomorrow.

Then of course, my co-teacher. My great ally, partner, teacher, and friend. I could not imagine spending a day, let alone a year as a teacher without her help and constant communication. This individual I get to share my journey with who is the model for so many essential elements of teaching. She inspires me to care about my students on a level deeper than test scores and homework. She inspires me to work harder in each moment that I can, to push my students toward success. She guides me in differentiating and planning, in execution of lessons and in communication with parents. We have become a dynamic duo: at times sharing in each others frustrations and agony, while in others sharing in the uncontrollable pride of our scholar's accomplishments.

Lastly, and most importantly, I am so very thankful for my students, my scholars. They are the reason I wake up each day at 5:15 a.m. and why I work until I fall into bed at 10. The reason why I push myself through Saturday graduate school classes. The reason I wake up knowing that I have a responsibility to them, and society at large to provide these bright, talented and hard working children with the knowledge and skills that will allow them to succeed and reach greatness in the future.

These scholars that exhaust me, frustrate me, challenge me, yell at me, cry at me, and expect perfection of me. These scholars that I exhaust, frustrate, challenge, yell at, cry because of, and demand excellence of.

These scholars that I laugh with (and at), share in moments of despair and hope with, celebrate times of happiness and accomplishment with; these scholars, my first scholars. The children I will never forget as they taught me about teaching, and more importantly about myself. I am so thankful for their continued determination, acceptance of my perpetual bad jokes, and willingness to be pushed for their own gain, even when they were not sure why.

Having made it through to Thanksgiving, this seemingly great milestone for a first year teacher, I can honestly say that I have grown more than I can express in words and have found purpose in my life beyond what I though was possible. While I know there are both strengths and weaknesses I can, and must continue to improve in both my personal and professional life, I have found myself at peace with who I am, and what I do. I have accepted the realities of this experience, knowing that each day provides a new challenge or obstacle; but most importantly have additionally accepted that each roadblock is nothing more than a chance to do something great, a chance to break expectations and foster change beyond the four walls of a classroom.

I am so often reminded of the great words spoken or written by those I admire. I can think of too many quotes to list that keep me going each day, each hour, each minute in my work. But today, I look back to country where my life as an educator truly began, to South Africa, where my time in a township school and countryside orphanage provided me the guarantee that I knew my life was meant to be spent in the struggle for justice, equality and opportunity. So thanks to Mr. Mandela who so eloquently wrote that "everything is impossible until it is done." So it is. And so I take this day to be thankful, and return to work tomorrow, turning each impossibility into a tangible reality.

Yup, That's Me!

2009-11-04T22:01:00.001-05:00

You Make My Life So Good

2009-11-03T22:16:00.003-05:00

Long time since my last post. I know I need to use this written outlet more, and I should be managing my time better now that it is November and I have been at this non-stop since June. So, even though it is 10:30 and I should be sleeping, my fingers are tapping, as my mind swirls with memories, reflections, and hopes for my life as a teacher.

I could write for days on the many things that have transpired since I last wrote:
the first Interim Assessments, data day, progress reports, planning and executing my second social studies unit, new challenges & tools for classroom management, the lack of a social life, trying to get 57 little ones onto ONE bus each afternoon, etc.

But today I just want to write about Tim (not his real name). Tim is in my 3rd grade class and has truly buried himself in my heart since the first days of school. He has an IEP that requires tw0 teachers in the room for most of the day, so it is great that I am there to provide more individual attention. His reading, writing, and math skills are generally below grade level. He struggles with focusing on ideas, keeping on task, and processing information.

At the same time, he is the sweetest child I have come to know. Sometimes, we even comment that he is too sweet, too kind for 3rd grade, not ready for life in upper elementary. He is passionate about turtles, turtles, and turtles. He does great work when prompted and assisted.

There is little ever hidden by Tim. You know exactly how he is feeling with a quick glance at his face and body language. No matter the circumstances, he makes puts a smile on my face more times than I can count each day.

Things however do not (and have not) come easily for Tim. He is aware of his academic challenges and doesn't always want to work through them. With his desk as close to mine as possible, I often sit with him (maybe at the expense of other scholars) and work through his assignments to make sure he is able to do the heavy lifting and master the material. If I did not coax him through, he would sit there, in a state of confusion, and waste away.

Socially, he struggles to fit in with the boys, who are unfortunately developing the early signs of physical roughhousing and verbal taunting that has the potential t0 harm children like Tim so deeply. It seems like a daily occurrence that he has tears in his eyes from having hurt feelings, usually because of actions of his peers. He also has not developed a "thick skin" or ability to notice when things are done intentionally or unintentionally. I sit with him, refocus him on his work, and to this point have developed a strong enough relationship where he trusts me, and is able to move forward. Minutes later, he is back to himself with a proud smile upon completing the assignment.

I get torn inside when there just those days that he cannot always get through. Just yesterday he got into an argument with another scholar. The child said that he had bad breath and after a few quips replied it was because he (Tim) was born in another country. (that is another whole bag of worms for another time).

While I am able to get Tim back to a point where he can work, i wonder if I am setting him up for success in the future. I won't always be there. Can he bounce back on his own? Can he analyze a situation and know what to do? Am I being too helpful? Do I have judgments about his learning disability and make unfair assumptions about what he needs? Does my supreme focus on this one scholar diminish my effectiveness with others who need just as much attention, love and support?

These are questions I don't know if I will be able to answer, but I know I need to be purposeful in my actions. Tim has become so much a part of me, and my teaching, I cannot let him down. In the same regard, I so strongly hope he doesn't let me down. I love him like he is my own child and I don't know how I would respond if things didn't turn out as planned.

I spent most of my evening handling some of these situations and it was no light task emotionally. I nearly lost it today and had to hold back tears when Tim handed me a drawing and letter he did on his own time at lunch and cooperative play:

"Dear Mr. Newman,
You are a good teacher.
You make me feel happy
every time. So I made
you a tortis. Isin it
cool! I like you so much.
You make my life so good.
Sinsirly,
'Tim' "

In the end, I must keep pushing forward, move Tim forward social and academically; move my teaching forward. And when it gets tough, when I don't sleep for 2 days to fill out 160 progress reports, or deal with hostile children (or parents) or lose control because of the pain I feel in seeing bullying in my classroom I know that I can turn to Tim and see his face, and know that it is all worth it.

Stay Calm and Carry On

2009-10-23T21:23:00.006-04:00

It has been quite a week in my life as a first year teacher. I would suggest things went relatively well during my transition from college student to boot camp teacher to first month teacher. Naturally, the wide range of emotions I felt during those times have hit peaks and valleys of both joy and depression. Throughout my committment to this work has been unyielding and my focus purposeful. Things seemed to change this week. Below are a few short reflections, notes written on my blackberry during subway ride to and from work, that might lend insight into my in-the-moment thoughts, feelings, and attitudes at some of the more difficult moments of my experience.

6:45 am. J train to Bushwick
I'm feeling now like I can't write. I'm so tired. Tired physically from too little sleep. Tired mentally as I push for my own and my student's understanding and tired emotionally from feelings of ineptitude.

Why can't I just get this? Why doesn't it work? Why don't they get it yet? Why do they keep acting like this? When does it get easier? When will I feel like I'm not failing them?

I know I'm not failing them. But it sure feels like it sometimes. It sure feels like my intentions and my impact are not aligned. It sure feels like I am not doing what I told myself I would do: make significant gains no matter what. No excuses.

6:17 train to Manhattan
My mind is swirling with questions. Questions I cannot answer. Questions that haunt me on my way home after 12 hours at school.

Will this feeling end? This feeling of insecurity, of pain, of guilt, of ignorance. Can I ever do this well? What is well? Why can't I do what I need to do? Know what I need to know. How long can I push myslef physically, mentally, emotionally through this boot camp of repeated shortcomings? How to I align my intentions with the final outcome? How do I survive and thrive as a teacher?

The back- story is a long one. Just like this week. (Its only Wednesday). I finished giving all of my 3rd and 4th grade scholars their first unit assessment. It tested every objective in various methods ranging from short answer, writing on maps, and straightforward vocabulary matching.

I was cautiously optimistic, thinking it would be tough, but possible to do well on. I knew I could have done a better job teaching new material, providing opportunities to practice and reteaching for mastery. But I figured the kids would synthesize the knowledge and perform relatively well (ie above at 70 for the average, well below 'mastery' 85 %). As I gave the test I was nervous, as I graded the test I was disappointed, and as I analyzed the data for the test I was sick. I had failed. The wretched scores and averages were not there fault; it was my fault. I did not prepare them. And surely some scholars were absent often and other had severe discipline issues but overall, every student could have performed well. It was my failure and mine alone. The gap between real knowledge and expected knowledge was startling.

I though to myself "what had I done for the past 6 weeks!" Could it have been that ineffective? That confusing? That wasted?

Thursday. J train to Manhattan. 625 pm.
I don't have the answer, but I know it is time to bring social studies to life. These kids need to be exploring, debating, acting out the content to synthesize the information and internalize the lesson. Its time to push outward from the norm, time to own my work and my responsibilities through creativity. On the wall in our classroom is one of my favorite Robert F. Kennedy quotes: "only those who dare to fail greatly, will ever achieve greatly." It is time I took my own advice, risked everything, for the chance to get it all.

--

After having time to look back at my thoughts from the week, I have better accepted my limitations as an educator. I can only do so much, control so much, change so much. Does that mean I lower my expectations or accept less than 100%. Absolutely not, but it means I must push myself to do more, push myself to think critically not only about my students strengths and weaknesses, but my own. To own them, and work through them, so that my students get nothing short of my 100%. I must dare to fail, dare to be great, dare to push my teaching beyond what I think is possible. Humility, inquisitiveness, creativity, and persistence will guide me to my goals, the growth of my students.

--
While some of this may seem painfully metacognitive or tragically sad. There are bright parts of my day and this experience. Beyond moving my scholars to academic and personal gains, there are lighthearted moments in the day. The moments when I smile for now reason, or laugh uncontrollably at the things my children say. It is the joy of spending my time with people who's main mission is enjoy each moment of their life. Below is a short video clip of our class doing one of their favorite cheers (We have MANY favorites). After is a good example of a few of the skills I have been working on: giving directions, narrating the positive, maintaining a firm but friendly tone, and keeping transitions on time. Enjoy!

Let's go to the video tape!

2009-10-10T15:32:00.005-04:00

The video below was produced by a nonprofit organization. I believe it does a nice job highlighting the approach taken by Achievement First in the movement to end educational inequities. While it is clear how amazing our co-founder and superintendent Doug is, my favorite aspect is that there is lots of footage of my kids!

You think you know...

2009-10-03T11:44:00.001-04:00

The title of my blog is completely stolen, but only because it so perfectly embodies my feelings about this experience. "You think you know, but you have no idea.". Exactly. There is no way, no way, to understand what is it like to be a teacher, a first year teacher, and a first year Teach for America Corps Member without being one yourself. It is this odd reality that cannot be adequately described in words or seen in video. You have to live it.

I say this hoping to not garner shouts of "you arrogant fool". In fact, I find the title so perfect because I didn't know. No amount of research could do justice to this job, this life. I am still so angered by my ignorance as a student for the disrespect and ungrateful attitude I had toward many of my teachers. I cast them off, like many do, as people who liked a 9-3 job with summers off. Surely some were, but reflecting back I can pinpoint those dedicated educators who gave their life to other's pursuit of opportunity. I write this blog in part to break down this invisible wall between those in the trenches of teaching and those who so beautifully prospered because of their education without a thought as to what it took to provide that most important, life shaping experience.

So as the title may be "You think you know, but you have no idea" and I say you can never really know without doing it, my request is simple: do your very best. Do your very best to break down that wall, take the time to explore educational inequities, talk to your teachers/professors/mentors not about how they can help you, but about why they do what they do and about what it takes to make others dreams a reality.

I spend everyday exhausting myself for my students. They may know, they may not, it frankly is not important, but if you had a teacher way back when or a mentor who guided you, take a moment, say thanks, and find out how you can do that for someone else. It may just let you know, and this time have an idea.

Just another Thursday

2009-09-26T10:46:00.000-04:00

The striking ebbs and flows of emotion each day truly exemplify how challenging it is, professionally and personally, to be a first year teacher.

I had a relatively good morning other than fighting off something of a cold, a sign of exhaustion and little kiddie germs everywhere. I had a great discussion with my scholars on the rug, dissecting the meaning within the book we finished during read aloud. The rest of the morning was solid; reading comprehension, vocabulary and guided reading. As I left my class to teach my 4 social studies lessons that day, things continued to improve. My lesson was strong and consisted of students doing nearly all of the 'heavy lifting' (that means 'work/thinking' to non TFA folk).

"Good job, exhausted first year, errr first month teacher", I could have said to myself. While grabbing bits of food that is considered 'lunch', the grade team had a meeting for a culture check: what is working well, what are 'broken windows' in your classroom culture, etc. I soon realized, as a cold shot of dread, incapability and overwhelmed responsibilities shot through my body. I had TONS of broken windows, there was little to no 'joy factor' in our class, students were not invested in the group or themselves.

The lowest of lows. I felt dreadful. I realized that while I had spent so much time and energy with my lessons and with firm management that the classroom culture amounted to student confusion, a lack of 'I can' attitude, a few random cheers, and many, many, many redirects to a select group who always require special attention. I wouldn't want to be in that class, why would they?

These moments, where in a pool of experienced teachers, are where I share my incapabilities in a more vulnerable way than I would like, or am used to. While I prefer direct feedback and generally have no qualms about public, honest reflection, I felt embarrased that I had so many broken windows. Embarrased that my culture, my environment for learning, was broken. Embarrased that I could not address every responsibility of a teacher, only a few.

I left the meeting so overwhelmed. There was so much to do, not in the sense of 8 hours of grading or 2 units to plan (did have these as well) but in the sense of building a culture that demanded excellence while valuing a good try; welcoming mistakes but pushing for the growth they so desperately need; creating a safe space, free of intimidation or fear, where confidence creates a sense of possibility in anything.

How can I do this? When do I even have time to do this? How could I have let this happen?

This happened because I lowered my expectations. I lowered what I thought my class could do.

From today on. It won't matter that we have one student who is disrespectful, angry and sometimes violent. It won't matter that most scholars expect 1 on 1 help in a class of 22 because they are used to special education classrooms.

It won't' matter. I set the weather.

Defying Gravity

2009-09-22T20:52:00.006-04:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm defying gravity. Like the weight of this all could just come crashing down at any moment, and despite my greatest efforts, my unsustainable work rate, my lack of sleep or a social life, and the wholeness of my heart in my work, sometimes it feels insurmountable.

When a student tries to explain to you that the "United States" and the "United States of America" are two different places.

When a student, after a minute of direct and intentional directions, raises their hand and says "what are we supposed to do?"

When one student spits in the hallway, then urinates in a bathroom garbage pail, throws pencils at classmates, tells others to 'shut up' and pushes someone on the rug. And then its lunchtime.

When the community surrounding my school has no grass and no jobs, only the bleakness of urban America. The forgotten abyss of in-opportunity and wasted talent. The community that could exemplify the vilification by politicians for social ills like high crime, low student performance and financial drain on government services. The community that outside of election cycles or police brutality media-frenzies is ignored like a pestering fly. The community where our failure to invest in the future, ensures a destiny of continued feeding into the cycle that promulgates the same problems that led to its condemnation and relegation in the first place.

How can I overcome? How can I, a teacher of 4 weeks, with all of 22 years, overcome these great barriers to achievement? How can the white-boy from suburbia inspire, motivate, relate to, communicate with and ultimately alter the life circumstances of students who’s challenges before the age of 8 could write a movie plot where viewer's classify the story as mere fiction?

There are moments during the day when I pause, think, and question if what I doing is having an impact. I am really helping? Are my lessons providing my students the opportunity to build skills and knowledge that will not only allow for mastery of a test, but guide them toward a life of honesty, citizenship, leadership, respect and responsibility? Can I defy these odds? Can my students? Can we defy the force of gravity weighing down on our spirits, our chances, our lives?

And then it happens. The moment. The moment that every teacher has. The moment you realize that each day, each hour, each second, you are teaching. You are leading. You are pushing your students to points that they never thought were possible. You are guiding young scholars through the exploration of knowledge that opens doors and challenges the status quo.

You.

You set the weather.

You guide the ship.

You are a teacher.

I sat with one of my sweetest, but most inattentive scholars for 30 minutes re-teaching how to order numbers. She did it.

I sat with my guided reading group, coaching them through a passage, guiding their ability to read with expression and accuracy.

I meet with 100 scholars each day and open their eyes, and ears, and minds to the wonders that are the maps, history, communities, culture and the world in which they live.

I direct students on how to show respect.

I exemplify for students how to sit, read, and question.

I am a teacher.

I am a teacher. I will not accept anything less than your very best. I expect 100% of your attention, 100% of your focus, 100% of the time.

I hold in my hands the power to shape a generation. Each day. Each hour. Each minute. I hold in my hands the power to shape a generation. Who is to say that any if not all of my students will be the first in their families to graduate college? Who is to say the next great idea to tackle global warming, poverty, malnutrition, or peace does not sit in one of my classes? Who is to say that the skills and knowledge and mindsets built in my classroom, with my students, through my methods will not change the course of history?

I can stare at the piles of garbage outside my school's front door. I can stare at the closed shops, boarded-up homes, or drunks sitting in the park at 6 am when I arrive at school. I can stare at the piles of grading, the masses of lessons to plan, the graduate school assignments due in 20 minutes or the call sheet of parents I need to speak with.

or

I can stare at the faces of my students. The faces that make me smile each day. The faces that make me cry on most. The faces that push me to my best, as I push them to theirs. The faces of today's children and tomorrow's leaders. The faces that are my responsibility. I can see in their eyes a brightness that is not shaded by the cut-off electricity at home, the threatening shadows down their block, or the darkened windows of an urban child's opportunity. A brightness that pushes back on gravity like the space shuttle shooting for the moon. They can reach for the skies. So can I.

Gravity? I defy gravity. I am a teacher.

Inspiration

2009-09-12T11:54:00.002-04:00

Sitting in grad school class right now. Its Saturday. 9:32 am.

My graduate program of study is a required component of my certification in New York State. I am appreciative of the opportunity my graduate program provides to increase my knowledge and skills, ultimately aimed at developing my effectiveness as an educator. At the same time however, the program has been grossly repetitive with my summer training with TFA and AF. Even as the organizations are aligned it feels like they don't communicate and actively work to frustrate my cohort. I know it is not the case, but it is hard to justify sitting in an auditorium at 930 on a Saturday when I could be: recuperating from a long week, running errands or organizing my life, working directly on projects and planning for my classes.

For instance, I just received my 4th grade textbooks and curriculum resources, two weeks into the year. As a result, I have to play some serious catch-up and plan units for the year.

Forget the massive pile of grading I have to finish, my mind is far from the grad school lesson on phonemes and rather focused on my students.

One who informed me that both his brother and sister have died during his short 7 year life

One who was almost expelled from school and has had other student's parents asking for their child to be moved out of our class.

One who cannot, cannot sit still.

One, who when compiling a list of things we like and things that bother us in writer's journals shared that it bothers him when his dad gets upset and beats up his brother.

So many coping with living situations not conducive to academic achievement such as communities riddled with violence, missing in action fathers, or parents so busy from working multiple jobs that they simply ignore or lack the skills to handle their child's behavior issues.

Regardless, my children and those who care for them at home are inspiring. All of them work relentlessly to overcome the social, cultural, economic, and psychological impediments bearing down on their optimism and opportunity; working to overcome the barriers to living a life not defined by their demography.

I am so incredibly inspired by my students. Regardless of the many obstacles placed in their way, whether they be macro or micro level (ie learning disabilities), they approach each day with a bright yearning for knowledge and energy for life that breaks my own conceptions of urban school students and pushes me to my best every single minute of every single day.

While I am exhausted when I wake up at 5 am and when I go to bed at 11, I have found that my listlessness at the beginning and end of each day will never overcome my own commitment to my children. They do so well, in the face of so much. I quickly am not only recognizing their cunning and strength but internalizing and energizing myself through their determination and resolve.

So this morning, while I am tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, and thinking about the massive load of working waiting for me after class, I am here, and I not giving in, and I will do everything I can to be better.

My Classroom

2009-09-11T19:03:00.008-04:00

How about some pictures and little text? Enjoy!

The Library!The S.S. Achievement!
(my social studies cart)

The First Week

2009-09-07T18:17:00.014-04:00

Wow.

That is pretty much all I can say. Life this past week has been a tumultuous roller coaster, surely a ride that would strike fear in the heart of some, but thrill others in the face of an insurmountable task. During the past 7 days, I have felt excited, anxious, prepared, ill-equipped, ignorant, positive, optimistic, overwhelmed, scared, comforted and committed. Of course that could have just been one day, or maybe one hour, but I'll keep the time frame more expansive.

Monday was the first day of school for the Kindergartners. Man those kids are cute! You forget that you were that small once ( and 'not too long ago', as my parents would say). I spent the breakfast period helping the little ones find their tables but otherwise smiling at the bright, shinning, and sometimes crying faces ready to embark on the amazing journey of an education. I read somewhere this week and accept whole heartily that "education is not received. It is achieved."

The rest of the day I was in training for one of our literature blocks, a program called Jr. Great Books that through a "shared inquiry" (Socratic method) lesson, introduces students to high quality literature and discussion. It seems like a good program but with two days before my 3rd and 4th graders arrived I rather have been handling the 10,093,213 other things I had to do.

To say the first few days of the week were hectic would grossly and inadequately describe the insanity of those days. Meeting upon meeting, from topics such as professional norms, to lesson planning expectations, student IEPs and bathroom keys, it was a rush of information overload. Besides, I was constantly concerned about finishing my classroom preparations. Now I am well aware of my own unhealthy desire for perfection, but I couldn't bring myself to accept anything as "half-ready."

Tuesday, I arrived at school 6:45 and didn't leave the building until close to 8 pm, still with a page long to-do list and the anxiety of a first year teacher the night before his first full day in the classroom. The room was looking great and my co-teacher and I had established our plans, practiced our routines and psyched ourselves for the start of the year. Then I went home...

Then I went home and let the thousands of questions enter my head.

What did I get myself into?
Why am I a teacher?
Am I a good teacher?
Am I ready?
Are the kids going to tear me up?
Can I do this?

holy shit.

The answers:
1. a journey 2. if not me, than who? 3. no way 4. can never be ready 5. no 6. YES

Yes I can do this. The first day was amazingly difficult, but I did it. And as simple and childish as "I did it" sounds, I don't care. I did it. Teaching is the most difficult thing I have ever attempted. Not trying to perfect a golf swing, debate nerds from across the North East or even handle some challenging personal issues could ever compare to the unyielding time and emotional commitment of leading children to their academic destiny.

After a relatively sleepless night, I woke at 5:15 am (Sadly, my new 'normal' wake-up time now that I am an 'adult'). I arrived at school a ball of emotion and began settling my things to prepare mentally for the day. Then in what seemed like an instant, the day started. Children's voices filled the hallways as hungry bellies approached the breakfast line. Teachers clad in first day outfits, tugging on steaming mugs of coffee reunited with old students and introduced themselves to new ones. The cohort of new teachers, my family these past few weeks and throughout the summer, stood frozen for an instant, maybe contemplating if there was still time to jump ship...but alas, there was work to be done and children to be loved.

Aside from some disorganization in giving students name tags, the day started off well. We worked hard to firmly lead the class through simple procedures such as lining up, entering the classroom and meeting the expectations of high achieving 3rd graders. In fact our entire 3 days this week consisted of teaching procedures. While this may seem random, unnecessary, or even wasteful, I can speak confidently that explicitly teaching students how to behave, why to behave, how to follow directions, essentially the means to exist in a social setting harmoniously is dangerously important. Dangerous, because it can make or brake a learning experience. Children need structure. It provides normalized routines and balance, where they feel comfortable to express themselves and experience learning. Without this explicit behavior modeling and teaching, classrooms too often become slow burning fires, simply waiting for one student or teacher or incident to add oil to the flame and burst into a place where learning is no longer possible.

So back to my day. While things were going well, I was relying heavily on my co-teacher. A veteran of two years teaching special education in the Bronx, and a TFA alumni, my co-teacher is remarkable. She is patient, organized and effective with our students. While I was involved throughout the day, sometimes I just fell short of the right words, not sure of myself, and not sure of exactly what to do. Whether veteran teachers experience these moments I do not know, but if so, they are amazing actors.

As things were going well, misery was around the corner. One of my students, (who I have since come to love after the first 3 days) who has had serious behavior issues in the past nearly leading to expulsion, decided to spit on the floor. I calmly bent down to his level, and with my best teacher voice and face, gave him a strong talking to. As I stood up, I felt some tightness in my back and then......shit! Curses nearly came out of my mouth as I held in the desire to scream the most offensive expletives. Back spasms like never before shot throughout my spine and I keeled over, knowing I couldn't stand. Could this really be happening? I was almost through surviving the first hour of my teaching career and this happens!

Long story short, I spent the day (and next few) walking carefully, sitting as much as possible and thanking god for the creation of ibuprofen. I clearly felt off my game though throughout the day. Besides the back pain, I didn't feel like I was connecting with my students. This was no problem during institute. Was it because these kids were younger? or some had IEPs and attention issues? Was it me?

I was plagued with thoughts of incompetence and self-doubt. I spent the rest of the day in meetings, continuing classroom set-up and trying to plan units and lessons for the year. But my mental state throughout the day saw no improvement. If I had the patience, I would tell you further about my struggles in creating year plans from scratch for 3rd and 4th grade social studies, still without any 4th grade materials and no experience in planning of this sort. But that is so purely teacher specific, I won't bore anyone with the details.

More important, I really struggled with the simple fact that I am simply not good at this yet. An obvious person would say, "of course not, you just started" or "it takes time, don't worry." But I HATE not being good at something. Even that is an understatement. Whenever I take something on, which is not often, I take it on entirely, with every bit of energy and passion that I have.

I haven't learned how to balance my work with other important things in my life. Even beyond not accepting that I wasn't good at teaching yet, I hadn't cleaned the apartment, done laundry or cooked a meal more complex than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in 10 days. I haven't been on a date in forever. I went all summer without seeing my best friends from college and high school. My life was out of whack. Stressed. Overwhelmed. The grand emotional responsibility of holding student's lives in my hand. If I could just improve this lesson plan or think critically about this or that, my students would be better off. But would I? and at what cost?

Thursday and Friday were better days. I grew more comfortable in my position; began to learn about and create a relationship with my students; and even thought quite intensely about the lack of balance in my life. But overall, the concept of allocating appropriate time and energy to the many facets of my life will be a constant challenge throughout my first year in the classroom. It seems that currently there are more questions than answers. But the quest for those answers is guiding me on a wild ride. A ride I cannot plan for, cannot wholly imagine, cannot know. A journey with limitless possibilities and if nothing else, is amazing, transformative, and fulfilling.

In One Week.

2009-08-26T20:08:00.003-04:00

In one week, I meet my students.

In one week, I am a teacher.

In one week, I become responsible for the academic, social, and emotional development of dozens of children.

In one week, my gosh, it is finally here. The intense courses this summer, the tireless work at institute, the sleepless nights of lesson planning, the awkward debriefs, nerve-wracking class observations, mind-numbing graduate school and lengthy AF training ultimately coalesce into me, teaching 3rd and 4th graders, in one week. Wow.

I don't have time to rest or relax however. There is SO much to do. The school moved locations this year, finally to a "permanent" site. As a result, I have been (and will be) unpacking loads of boxes filled with books, teaching supplies, posters, curriculum materials and everything imaginable from an elementary classroom. Although work ended officially at 4 pm today, I actually left at 6, after spending more time arranging our classroom. As soon as the physical space is respectable, I will turn my attention to long term planning for 3rd and 4th grade social studies and 3rd grade reading and writing. In true TFA spirit, I must be relentless.

I came across the blog of another Corps Member and AF teacher, my good friend Taylor. You can read her blog here: http://learnforamerica.blogspot.com/ Her last post however really struck a cord with how I am feeling and rather than attempt a lame intimidation, I wanted to simply re-post her eloquent words here:

Wednesday, August 26, 2009
debut

My mind feels like one of those sound-o-meters with the red lights that bounce up and drop down with each beat of the music. So much is coming so fast and I am both completely ready and completely not ready. My students come in exactly one week, and I have no idea who they are. I know nothing about their lives save for their reading levels A-Z and what I see as I step through their streets.

The community of Bushwick is a proud one, and rightfully so. The population hails from all over the world and has suffered the climbs and the falls of an urban community, including a fall into crime so deep that The New York Times once rated it the most dangerous community in New York City. Though the community has made great leaps and is proud to share them, the extra challenges that my students from this community will face are all but removed. Today, three fellow teachers and I left school to find a car window smashed in and robbed just outside the front door of our facility. Safety is just one contributor to the achievement gap that, while no excuse, must not be forgotten. My school has a fantastic full time social worker to ensure that this is the case, for while improvements have been made since the year 2000, educational statistics remain the reason why high performing charter schools with missions aimed to close the achievement gap feel the urgency of entering the community. In Bushwick, 40.3% of students read at grade level and 58.7% can do math at grade level. Compare these statistics with the end of year scores of the students at the school at which I will soon teach, where 100% of students passed the state math exam performing at or above grade level. How many times must statistics such as these be presented until the people of our nation can see that ALL children can learn when provided access to a great education?

I am proud to become a part of a movement so great in exactly one week. My excitement and my nerves are now going head to head, red lights and green lights dancing up and down on the meter in my mind.

In the end, I want to share the following link with my non-educator friends/family. This video is not new or unknown, but in such a profound manner demonstrates the emotion, drive, and commitment of teachers. At many moments during institute when I said to myself "what have I gotten myself into?", this video helped re-focus my energy to work at a grassroots level on the most important civil rights issue of our time: the educational achievement gap.

Enjoy Here!

-Grant

The Merry Month of August.

2009-08-23T19:53:00.010-04:00

I haven't written in almost a month. Horrible. Not that I think I have any sort of fan-base waiting for me to write about the many wild-adventures in my life (read: NOT), but not writing here in a month means that I haven't actually sat and reflected on my life in that long either. Not good.

August has been such a whirlwind. Institute ended August 1st. Teacher U was from August 2-9 (not to mention the painful online child development class). I spent a week in New Haven than a week in Crown Heights for Achievement First training. This week I will be at my school, Achievement First Bushwick Elementary for training/prep, before students arrive August 31st. During that time I also packed up 22 years of my life in New Rochelle and moved into my apartment in Manhattan.

So to backtrack, On August 10th I traveled to New Haven, Connecticut for AF New Staff Training. It was a fantastic week. I loved meeting the other new teachers and support staff, those who are truly going to be my "team and family" this year and beyond. Many of the new teachers who were not first year Corps Members like myself were TFA alumni and could relate to the insane summer we have experienced.

I quickly found that the AFBES team was awesome! In fact, most people I met were great: they embodied the intelligence, commitment, sincerity and empathy that drives the work of TFA and AF.I felt like I was in the right place, at the right time. I felt like I was home.

Much of the content covered during the training sessions was not new, but nonetheless helpful in shaping my skills as a teacher. The founders of AF who now operate as superintendent and CEO, Doug McCurry and Dacia Toll, are great leaders. They operated with an amazing amount of respect, humility, courage and energy throughout the week. While I was often tired each day, I was glad to be part of AF and inspired to start working.

That weekend I moved into my apartment in Manhattan. Mom and Dad were amazingly helpful as usual and I am so thankful for their guidance and support (and checkbook: movers are not cheap). After some drama surrounding couches that did not fit through the door, the move went well. It’s strange though. I actually live in the city. I don’t know when it will feel like home; New Ro is so ingrained in me as home. I’ll give it time. Nevertheless, I love our apartment! The neighborhood (NoLita) is great: packed with wonderful restaurants, shopping and nearly every subway. Although time is limited, I’m confident Thomas and I are going to have a great time.

The week of the 17^th was spent at AF Crown Heights for more content specific training. I began working through the reading and writing curricula and learned how to utilize the numerous resources provided by AF (i.e. shared server with everything you could need, subject teams, grade level teams, Deans, co-teachers, etc). On Friday I was able to work at AFBES, my school. It was amazing to walk around, see the college banners up on the wall, posters of the AF core values in the hallway and my name on the door of Room 315: “the University of Delaware”. I’m so pumped for my students to become little Blue Hens!

After the craziness of the summer, I spent the entire weekend in bed, sleeping and working. I’ve been fighting off a cold, most likely the remnants of pure exhaustion, so I took it real easy around the apartment. I read through the entire 3^rd grade social studies text I will be using with 4 of my classes and started the process of creating units. It wasn’t the most fun, but it was productive. I still feel unsure about developing long term plans, so I’m looking forward to meeting with my academic dean to guarantee things are on track for the first day of school.

The one major downside of my life as a new teacher is the simple lack of free time. This is not a job that ends at 5 pm, or one that ends ever. I am constantly thinking about my students from the summer, ways I can improve my teaching, and simply trying to figure out how I’m going to survive. I find myself talking about teaching even when not with other teachers. While having dinner with my best friend Sam I started to tear up as I told her about the amazing progress my students had made this summer in just 4 weeks. Had I really become that person?

Teaching and my students consume my life. At the same time, I’m glad about it. The students served by TFA and AF need people to give everything, whether it be time, money or energy to their education. As my CS said this summer, “time is short and the need is great.” I’m glad to dedicate myself to their growth for I can’t think of anyone or anything more worth my time; but I wonder the toll it will take on other aspects of my life? Surely, people will get tired of me going on and on about one student’s ability to make an inference or use context clues. But whatever the price, there is no other cause I would rather be working for, no other place I’d rather be.

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen my friends in forever. I am so lucky to have such a great network of friends from UD and home in NR. It kills me that I have not been able to see most of them at all this summer. I hope that as things settle into a routine we will be able to meet up, but with such an intense workload I often feel to busy to even check facebook. (that of course could be not having Internet until the 27^th, damn you Time Warner Cable).

I should probably leave Starbucks, say goodbye to free WiFi and head home. I’ll try to update the blog more often, and hopefully incorporate more specific details about my classroom and experiences at school.

Until then, all the best,

Grant

Grad School - Week 1

2009-08-04T22:44:00.006-04:00

Sunday 8/2

I was able to enjoy roughly a 24 hour break between the end of institute and the start of "round zero". Round zero is TFA code for programming during the rest of summer and into your first six weeks in the classroom. My programming was to begin Sunday, at Orientation for my master's program, Teacher U at Hunter College.

As part of my NYS certification I must be enrolled and maintain a 3.0 gpa in a master's in education graduate degree program. Through TFA, I was enrolled in Teacher U at Hunter College, a 2 year program, organized by the Hunter School of Education and Achievement First, KIPP and Uncommon Schools. The program is designed to provide classroom teachers with tangible skills to increase effectiveness and student achievement. It does not focus on theory, but rather the development of best practices, and thus is taught by master teachers as well as full education professors. To accommodate the hectic schedule of full-time teachers from TFA, AF/KIPP/Uncommon or NYC Teaching Fellows, classes meet on Saturdays, generally 1 or 2 times a month.

I'm looking forward to meeting with my cohort and building upon the skills I learned at Institute to constantly improve my teaching. It will be a great challenge however to appropriately clear head space for the work and find time to complete my assignments. Hopefully things will work out.

Saturday 8/8

I just returned home from my first week of graduate school at Teacher U. It was an interesting week to say that least, and I probably should rest and let my reflections marinate before sharing them, but time does not also provide such luxuries.

I found many of the Teach for America centered sessions to be extremely repetitive of things discussed and learned during institute. Possibly, the experience I had at working at AF Bushwick Middle as my institute school provided for more thorough training than other cites. However, it was frustrating at times to be sitting in sessions that were purely review and facilitated as if I had no prior knowledge or experience.

As far as the rest of the week, not much changed. Sessions were long, generally dry, and often all I could focus on was where we were going for lunch. I should say that many if not all of the instructors are amazing educators on their own. Coming from KIPP, AF, Uncommon, IDEA, TFA, etc, those leading the sessions have done wonderful things for educational equity. Wednesday we were fortunate enough to hear from Doug McCurry, co-founder of AF. Today was led entirely by Dave Levin, TFA alum and co-founder of KIPP. It is inspiring to learn from these leaders, but even so, i much rather have spend my week (from Sunday to Saturday) resting up in bed.

But in the end, I made it through the week, got all of my assignments done and uploaded to the course platform, and am ready to go for the fall. (I'm just going to pretend for now that I don't have an online child development class starting Monday).

Another part of this crazy journey complete, I'm off to Connecticut tomorrow to start two weeks of training with Achievement First. I'm so pumped to meet the full the team (already love my TFAers at AF) and get started working for my students at AFBES. D-Day in 3 weeks. wow.

Institute = Done. Sleep = Yeah Right

2009-08-03T22:39:00.006-04:00

Institute ended Friday afternoon as I said goodbye to my class of 5th graders and met one last time with my school team at AFBMS. It was truly a bittersweet moment.

I was exhilarated to finally be finished with institute, and most importantly, to have SURVIVED! There were moments before I started TFA that I wondered if I was up for the challenge (i.e. no sleep, tons of new material in an extremely short time), but having gone through the 5 weeks, albeit via caffeine, I was proud to have gotten to the end. At the same time I was proud of what I had accomplished as a teacher.

On Thursday, we gave our students a summative assessment, in fact, it was the exact same writing prompt given on the first day as a diagnostic. I was nervous throughout the 1.5 hours to see if students would apply on their own the many lessons we taught during the past 4 weeks. Would they remember to state a point of view, and give three reasons in the form of a thesis statement? Would they have a hook in their intro? Would they use transition words? I say would, because each and every student could. They all had the ability, it was a question of putting on paper what they knew.

Upon looking through and grading the class's writings it was clear the impact I (and my co-teacher, Lexie) had made. Students wrote full five paragraph essays with indentations, transition words, topic sentences and yes, a thesis statement. It was remarkable: four weeks ago many students produced 4 lines, now, some wrote over a page! The qualitative results allowed me to pause and reflect on how much students had grown, and the specific actions I had taken to get them there. It truly inspired me to dream about what my students could accomplish in 10 months.

Being Teach for America and Achievement First, the quantitative data was also important. On the diagnostic, my class averaged at 1.8 out of 4 on writing. Most students had decent ideas but lacked any organization and sadly displayed style and conventions well below 5th Grade expectations. At the end of my teaching, the class averaged a 2.9 out of 4, a huge improvement. Almost every student increased their scores on ideas and organization with some improving on style and conventions as well. For the 20 hours of direct instruction I facilitated during the month, I was proud to see such achievement.

On the last day, we had a celebration of their work. A display was put over the board with a copy of each student's writing on the first and last days. As the class walked around and saw their tremendous growth, smiles lit their faces and the joy of success was apparent throughout the room. It is these moments that really made teaching summer academy amazing. I had been through such troubling moments with these students but in the end, we reached our goal and made gains.

So while this would all make for a happy story, it is of course, not the case.

Not all of my students, 4 in fact, did not return for the 4th week of summer school. Thus, I was unable to give them a final assessment and determine how effective my teaching was for those scholars. Further, during the last week, one of my brightest students was expelled from summer academy for threatening a classmate. While the details of the matter are not important, it was my opinion that the student did not understand the severity of his claims, and while consequences were in order, I'm not sure if he is best served by being taken out of school. Its a difficult call in any situation, but especially in my school where maintaining the desired culture takes such precedence.

There were many other downsides to institute ending. Professionally, I no longer had amazing master teachers to guide me through my learning and teaching. But more important, on a personal note, I no longer had the wonderful network of 500 beginning teachers to socialize with as my de facto family. For weeks we ate breakfast at 5 am together, rode yellow buses through NYC traffic together, lesson planned together, had fits of anger and frustration together, laughed together and became teachers together.

My roommates were wonderful and I look forward to many happy hours trading stories about our experiences. And my school team and peers were a remarkable group of individuals that I am eternally grateful for. My friends at school became my family during the past 5 weeks, and any level of sanity remaining on that last day was in huge part to them.

So in all, institute was what I expected. Challenging, exhuasting, interesting and completely worth-while. I feel prepared to continue my training during August and head into the classroom come September. I know I will have the support of TFA, my peers, my friends and family and the team at Achievement First to help mold my teaching into the master level of proficiency that my students deserve.

TFA Institute: Almost There.

2009-08-02T22:22:00.002-04:00

Written July 30th.

It has been a long time since I sat down and wrote. Institute has remained a whirlwind. Beyond the extremely long days and nights have been intense emotional waves with peaks and valleys that surely could rival any mountain range. I have felt the highest points of success and pride in my efforts while then in a moment, instantaneously, I dive to the depths of desperation and uncertainty about my ability to guide my students to appropriate academic and social gains.

See, the thing about teaching is there is a greater responsibility to success than one can possibly imagine. At risk is not a profit, a product, or a dividend, it is a person’s ability to live. Life without a rigorous and planned education in today’s world is a sentence to relative indentured servitude. Sorry to those in other professions, many of which we surely need, but quality teachers, more than any other job, craft society’s chance at progress. Without the next generation of scientists, mathematicians, writers and philosophers, where do we go? Surely we can produce something, but what? Does it inspire? Does it reach for goals? Does it defy what we see as normal and blast through obstacles like a meteor to the atmosphere?

That’s my goal. Not advancement to the next grade level or proficiency in an objective. It is to develop students; scholars; people; People who see the many hardships in their life, not as roadblocks but training activities, preparing them to mount any challenge with confidence and perseverance.

Even after six weeks of training, four of which in the classroom, I am emotionally and mentally trapped into a life dedicated to providing a quality education to all students. My transformation is going to be long, difficult and yet immensely rewarding. But how can I teach and inspire students to overcome, when I do not myself? How can I teach and inspire students to reach not for goals, but beyond goals, if I do not myself? I must, as I taught leadership students in college, develop credibility and “do what I say I will do”. No excuses, it is time to push, push, then push some more.

My approach to institute has been with this deeply ingrained in my cognitive thought processes. I don’t want to be a teacher. I want to be the teacher: The teacher who stays in touch with students beyond the year in the same classroom. The teacher who visits home and knows their favorite food. The teacher who sees them off to middle school, then high school, then college. The teacher who is not a distant memory but an everlasting image of how anything, truly anything is possible.

I have seen students this summer writing four sentences on the first day to then write a complete five paragraph essay four weeks later. I have witnessed my students learn how to infer, reflect, ask questions, and visualize while reading to understand texts at levels they sometimes questioned if they would ever reach.

My first class. My scholars. My English/Language Arts “All-Stars.” My teachers.

What I have learned about teaching, mostly from my students, is that I am forever changed. No matter what happens during my two-year commitment, or time working for education reform throughout my life, my first class in room 403 at Achievement First Bushwick Middle School taught me that a quality teacher, one this is prepared, reflective, committed and relentless, is the greatest factor in student achievement.

I have so much to learn and so much development to do as an educator. But I am grateful for what I have learned so far. The changes in my classroom management, procedures, delivery of academic content, practice structures, checks for understanding and assessment have traveled through ebbs and flows unlike anything I could have imagined. I am not the teacher I was on four weeks ago. I am not the teacher I was three weeks ago, two weeks ago, last week, or even yesterday and I’m not the teacher I will be tomorrow. Constantly learning, I become a better teacher each day, each minute that I reflect, receive feedback, and work to grow. It has been such a wild ride, I’m so lucky it doesn’t end soon.

Tomorrow is my last day teaching at AFBMS during summer academy and the last day of institute. I made it. That alone is something I am proud of. But as the experience comes to a close, it is not the lessons on literacy, child development or lesson planning that will have the greatest impact on my students this fall, but rather it is the work I accomplished personally, in my own development to build the mindsets and actions of a teacher ready to put a dent in the sometimes seemingly insurmountable achievement gap. So yes, institute will be over in about 14 hours, but it is just the beginning of this amazing journey that I am so excited to continue.

TFA Institute

2009-08-02T22:20:00.001-04:00

Written July 8th, 2009.

I'm in my 3rd week of the craziness that is Teach for America Institute. The first week was sort of an orientation for just the NYC people and then corps members from the Tulsa, New Jersey and Connecticut regions joined us on the St. John's campus in Queens, New York for training.

Basically, each day we wake up by 5 am, go to "breakfast" (aka shovel food and coffee as quickly as possible) and board buses to our various summer school sites. We work at school from 7 am to 1 pm in classrooms (normally teaching about 2 hours individually a day).

Side-note:I am lucky to be teaching summer school at the same location I will be teaching in the Fall, a charter school, Achievement First Bushwick. (http://www.achievementfirst.org)

By work in classrooms, it is MY class. I (along with my partner - explained below) are responsible for everything. I have developed a baseball theme to guide the class and focus on our big goals in reading and writing, while also using the theme to implement classroom management techniques to keep behavior issues at bay. (They are my English/Language Arts "All-Stars"). I cannot stress the importance of these management techniques. There are experienced teachers observing our classes but they never jump in, ever.

From reading through their diagnostic assessments on the first day, I saw directly the devastating nature of the achievement gap. My 5th graders had difficulty writing in organized paragraphs, spelling common sight words such as "School" and struggled to comprehend texts even at 3rd grade levels. If I needed any more motivation, I realized my 4 weeks of teaching summer school had an opportunity to have a profound impact on my students life-long achievement.

After teaching, we work through lunch in afternoon sessions from 1 to 430. We cover topics from executing effectively, literacy, planning procedures, assessment work, best practices, etc. We board the giant, hot, sweaty, yellow school bus at 4:30 , sit in traffic on the LIE, and return to campus for a second shoveling of cafeteria food.

At 7, we head to evening sessions on campus. These sessions are similar to those facilitated at our school site but cover additional material as there is always more to learn! After the evening classes, we work relentlessly from 930 to midnight (or later usually) doing lesson planning, posters, assessments, grading, you name it for the next day of teaching.

The staff push us hard to keep getting better at every aspect of teaching. Good is not great, and never good enough. Each day I'm more exhausted as I usually get about 4 hours of sleep a night and rely on Redbull to get me through the day.

HOWEVER, I LOVE every minute of it. I love teaching, my students, my peers and the challenge of moving historically ignored children to achieve at exemplary levels. It's cliche but after a week of teaching summer school I can already see a difference in the reading and writing skills of my students.

Even so, it has not been a walk in the park during the 3 weeks. We are supposed to work in "collaboratives" aka teams of 2 to split the two hour English or math blocks we teach. My first partner quit before institute started, my second and third where changed on the same day and my fourth quit about 3 days in. Ill tell you the entire story sometime. In short, I had to work alone, doing double the work, double the lesson plans, double the teaching. It was so hard, but I survived and am definitely better prepared for my classroom in the fall. On a great note, yesterday another TFA corps member switched summer placement schools and became my collaborative partner. Yay! So far its been wonderful having the work load lightened and a teammate to get everything done.

I am constantly amazed by the insane amount of planning that teachers do, and am so grateful for the wonderful teachers I have had in past. So to any of those teachers out there reading this, THANK YOU!

I have about 3 more hours to do tonight, mainly drafting lesson plans and assessments for next week; that's after already putting in 3 hours of work since dinner. I'm looking forward to this weekend when I will make up LOTS of sleep and view some apartments in Manhattan on Saturday.

I'll do my best to update again before this is all over and I start my grad classes, school training and the first day of the year!

All the best,

-Grant, I mean...Mr. Newman.